The Weight of My Becoming
A Soul Stripped Bare filled with Rage Against the Universe —No Mercy Left
The Demon Within Screaming into the Void —My Scarred Path
Being trans has taken a profound toll. Since age seven, I knew who I was. What I couldn't have foreseen was the immense impact embracing my true self would have, not on me, but on the people I love. My personal struggles have, at times, inflicted pain on those I care about most, leaving me to grapple with a tormenting question: How much agony am I willing to bring upon the ones around me? This is a burden I don't know how to carry. If I could reverse time, I often wish I had chosen a life of solitude, believing my transition might then have unfolded without inflicting such collateral pain.
My advice to my younger self would be stark: "Avoid people. Never love, and never let anyone love you. They will become your greatest source of pain when difficult decisions arise. Solitude is strength; it allows you to live your truth without fear of consequence."
I am the demon that craves to grab God by the throat, rip out its divine insides, and feed them to the devil, only to inflict the same fate upon him.
An insurmountable rage burns within me, bottled since memory began—not against people or objects, but against the very force controlling this universe. If judgment day comes, they'd better beware, for my soul holds no mercy.
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